New Living Translation (NLT)
38 “Why are you frightened?” he asked. “Why are your hearts filled with doubt?
I really struggled with the blog topics for Bible study this week. In the end, I decided to blog about this week’s verse. Jesus says “Why are you frightened? Why are your hearts filled with doubt?” These are good questions that he asks his disciples when he appears to them after his resurrection. After all he told them what would happen and here he is fulfilling those words, offering them proof, and their hearts are full of fear and doubt.
We spent a lot of time this week dealing with our pasts. Most of the topics for this week were about overcoming pain in our past which is why it was hard for me to pick a blog topic. It’s not that my life has been without pain but I learned early on how to forgive through love and let go of those negative feelings. So I ask myself if Jesus were to ask me these questions, what would I be frightened about? Why would my heart be doubtful? I guess the answer to that would be finding something that lasts. It frightens me that I never will and that is what my heart doubts most. Friends, boyfriends, husbands, even beloved dogs, they come and go, they forget about you, they move on, they pass on. The friends you have in middle school that will be your friends forever drift away in high school and then again in college. I have always been one to reach out to keep any kind of relationship going, they have always been so important to me. Always answer a call from anyone no matter what. Go searching for that long lost girlfriend from back in the day. But I do suppose I carry around that doubt that if I stopped making the effort, that the relationships would continue and the fear that I will always end up alone.
But as always, neither God or Jesus ask a question, without already giving us the answer. The story of Peter stepping out of the boat has been my message lately. Keep your eyes on Jesus no matter what, when you start to fear and doubt (and we always will cause we are human), ask for help, and Jesus will be there. After writing last week’s blog and looking at my past religious experiences, I know more than ever that he has always been with me even when my eyes were not on him. When the last thing I wanted to do was look for him, he was there waiting. The same then, now and always – never changing. The one constant. The one that pursues me no matter what, thinks I’m amazing just the way I am and always loves me. The one waiting to respond to that text or call. The one who will be by my side the minute I ask. The one always looking out for me. It is unfair to ask anyone else to be that constant in your life because we are all human. We will all disappoint and fail each other. Look to God first, let him fill you with His love, so that you can love others in spite of the fact that they will never measure up to God’s love.
1 Corinthians 13
New International Version (NIV)
13 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
My doubts and fears will never completely go away but Jesus will always be there asking, “Why are you frightened?” “Why are your hearts filled with doubt?”